Wisdom Is Also Practicing “detachment”

Do you put detachment into practice every day? Spoken like that can certainly cause some strangeness and even a certain contradiction.

Detachment is not an attitude born in a selfish personality that seeks only to value itself, breaking the link with everything that surrounds it. No way.

It is clear that we will never practice detachment with what is important to us and that, in turn, brings us a series of positive contributions, capable of enriching us, making us better people.

However, if we carry out a small reflection exercise, we will see that around us float many dimensions, situations and people that anchor us, sinking us a little deeper each day.

And it is necessary to be careful, because sometimes we may be blaming other people for our unhappiness, but it is also necessary to practice letting go of certain attitudes, such as limiting thoughts, fears and even insecurities.

Let’s talk about it now, inviting you, as always, to reflect with us.

Detachment as a technique of personal knowledge

They can sell us detachment, they can talk to us about it in capital letters and even highlight it in bright colors. However, we know that it is not easy to practice it or carry it out so quickly.

With courage. In this life, nothing seems to emerge with the serenity of a cool summer breeze, it’s as if we need storms to learn, to be aware that sometimes it’s not braver who endures, but who dares to take the step … and let go.

Detachment is, above all, a technique that allows us to know ourselves in order  to establish limits and live in balance.

Take note of the following points with which you can go a little deeper into this basic aspect of your personal growth.

1. You are the protagonist of your own life and the only one responsible

There are people who live depending on what others say, do or don’t do to be happy. Sometimes even a gesture can be interpreted as indifference, displeasure or even disgust.

We are talking, for example, of these couples who center their entire existence and private universe on the other person, almost obsessively, generating a dependency where phrases like the following are often quite common:

It cannot be denied that in affective relationships there is always a “certain” dependence: we like the other person and therefore the bond is strong and intense.

However, this dependence should not consume our own identity, nor allow happiness to be always kept in the other person’s pocket.

• You are the protagonist of your own life, the people you choose must complement you to enrich you, not to nullify you.
• Practice letting go of absolute dependence on others No one will breathe for you, no one has an obligation to fill your voids each day, or alleviate your fears.

2. Assume reality

There are people who don’t want to see. There are people, for example, who do not accept that their children need to learn to be independent, responsible and autonomous.

Telling a mother that she needs to practice “healthy detachment” and progressively with her children is not easy to understand.

In this case, what we would try to do is to assume a clear reality: that every child needs the parents’ trust when making decisions, taking certain steps. It is to practice detachment in relation to dependence, to the “obsessive fear that something will happen to you, that you will make a mistake…”

3. You are free, and you must also promote the freedom of others

I want a freedom without strings, where we can all meet to learn, to enjoy and enrich with our own worlds, affections and particularities.

I want a day to day where I can enjoy the present without having obsessive attachments to past mistakes, failures or losses. I accept my losses, understand them and accept them in order to grow and be able to move forward in freedom.

I want to trust myself and my possibilities to achieve my dreams, allowing you, in turn, to achieve yours. Because I am no one to clip your wings, nor can you lock my wishes…

Image Courtesy: Mila Marquis, Claudia Tremblay.