There Is Only One Way To Kill Monsters: Accept Them

There are negative emotions that live in our interior like monsters that stalk us, and that come to light at the most annoying moment, such as guilt, fear, pride, selfishness, envy, jealousy…

Sometimes it’s hard to get over a feeling of guilt for something we’ve done, or it’s inevitable to feel fear in the face of a situation that worries us.

Although it is not possible to eliminate negative emotions, it is possible to accept and manage them to live with them and not direct our lives.

Identifying monsters and emotions

We can all learn to identify and manage our emotions.  We can come to identify other people’s emotions through emotional intelligence, with which we will be able to feel what the other person feels through their words, gestures or expressions.

Charles Darwin analyzed that animals have an extensive repertoire of emotions  and that these emotions have a social function, as they favor adaptation to our surroundings.

There are six basic emotions and each has its function. Are the following:

Fear

It is the emotion we feel when faced with a danger, be it real or imagined. Fear urges us to protect and safeguard ourselves.

Surprise

Amazement we feel at an unexpected event, whether positive or negative. Surprise allows us to orient ourselves to the new situation.

Aversion

The disgust that something produces in us and that makes us reject something.

Will

Feeling of irritability in the face of a situation that bothers us. Anger is a negative and destructive feeling.

Happiness

Euphoria for something that makes us happy and gives us a sense of security and well-being. It invites us to want to repeat this situation to feel it again.

Sadness

It is the feeling that negative events cause us. Sadness drives us to overcome a situation and bring out our emotions.

Emotion Management Techniques

There are several techniques for controlling and managing negative emotions, which are grouped into several categories:

Immediate Emotional Control Techniques

They are used to control our emotions just as they arise.

They usually have to do with attention management. What we try to avoid is that, when a negative emotion arises within us, we express it and let ourselves be carried away by it.

Techniques to discover the causes of our emotions

It is a set of techniques that seek to understand what makes us react in a certain way and discover how to react differently.

It may be a lack of self-esteem, a misperception of the situation, fear, etc.

Permanent Emotional Change Techniques

Permanent emotional change techniques propose a deep work with ourselves, which provides a growth to stop reacting as we don’t want.

how to accept the monsters

We can’t help but feel emotions, but we can learn to manage and accept them so they don’t hurt us.

Here is some advice for managing your emotional intelligence and controlling the monsters within:

1- Remember your virtues and successes

We all have many flaws, but also many virtues that set us apart and make us unique people.

We often talk negative things about ourselves all the time:  This always happens to me! I’m a disaster! I’m always late! etc.

But we never stop to think about all the virtues we have, all the things we do well, our daily successes.

2- Distract your attention with something concrete

When a baby cries, the first thing we do is try to distract him from crying.

Don’t let your mind wander. If your partner has told you he’s not sure about the relationship, don’t think he’s leaving you, think about the book you’re reading.

3- Think about the more immediate future

Sometimes negative emotions make us think about long-term consequences, but it’s better to think about the immediate future so that we can be more realistic and can maintain self-control.

4- Meditate regularly

Meditation has been shown to be effective in preventing negative thoughts, not only when they are produced, but also in the long run.

Meditating and breathing correctly can help reduce anxiety and other negative emotions.

5- Think about the worst that can happen

If you think about the worst that can happen to you, you will learn to put your problems into perspective and manage the control of your emotions.

Illustrations: courtesy of Goro Fujita, John Kenn