The Person Who Talks All The Time Deprives Himself Of The Pleasure Of Listening

The person who talks all the time deprives himself of the pleasure of listening

We all know a person who talks through his elbows. It’s like a watchman of silence, so he’s never there. If you ride in a car with her, it’ll be like having the radio on. In a short time, this person is able to bring you up to date with everything that happened in their circle of mutual friends, in soap operas, in social events and in politics.

Unlike you, who feel that talking about certain topics can be a little risky, this type of person is very comfortable talking about a wide variety of topics. In addition, they tell as if they had lived through it, making gestures and interpreting with their voices as if they were professional radio announcers.

man ending a conversation

People who are not apt for confidences

You know very well that this type of person is the best speaker you can count on if you want information to get out quickly. They are not usually malicious, but they have a very strong tendency to think only after speaking. So much so that it has probably already happened that you are standing next to a friend like that and cheering “For God’s sake, don’t let her say anything!”. At these times you can elbow her, or a subtle kick under the table, but usually the damage is already done and it’s almost impossible to escape.

Within the group of people who speak through their elbows, hands, feet and ears, we can distinguish those that we put up with with a certain amount of patience, and that we even like, from those that are totally insufferable. Talkative and insufferable people are often characterized by projecting a negativistic egocentrism. In his speech, criticism and pessimism predominate, both for his future and that of others. They are the prophets of perfect disasters.

talk and listen

What is the person who speaks all the time, deep down?

They can be so shallow and addicted to topics of so little transcendence that their cadence of words is more tiring than intense exercise. The positive is that with practice there is a certain habituation to the person who talks all the time, like the noise of a nightclub: at first it is very loud, then you can adapt, and when you leave there you realize the intensity of the sound you were in holding on; your ears ring in gratitude that you’re out of there.

There are many traits that characterize them. One of the most characteristic is that they don’t know how to listen. When they finish talking, they start thinking about what they’re going to say next, and they talk regardless of what you say. They plan to follow a certain path and they do, however far you are in the other direction. Also, they are afraid of forgetting what they thought or losing the thread of the skein of their own speech, so if you go too far in your speech, they will cut you off.

woman under water

On the other hand,  this linguistic profusion also often functions as a defense mechanism. The person does not want the conversation to reach certain topics they do not want to deal with, and uses a language that tries to divert the attention of the other interlocutors to more superficial topics, such as what a person who is not present at the time did or did not do .

Even if we do not belong to this group of people who talk through their elbows, we all use this defense mechanism at some point, whether with more or less intensity. In fact, we started doing this from an early age, as this can be a strategy that, at some point, can avoid a scolding.

One way or another, the person who talks a lot is so connected to himself, whether to talk about himself or to divert attention elsewhere,  that he doesn’t usually have many resources to listen to the other person. As a result, it is often difficult for them to show empathy or establish deep relationships with others. It’s paradoxical, since they don’t usually understand why it’s so difficult to connect with others, if the image they have of themselves is of someone sociable.

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