The Art Of Listening

Yes, listening is an art, because not everyone knows how to really listen. Remaining silent until the other has finished speaking is not listening, thinking about what you are going to say while the other is commenting on your idea is not listening either. Listening is processing what is being heard, giving meaning and making an effort to try to understand, and even feel in the other’s shoes, based on what is being shared. In this sense, silence sometimes says much more than words, and that is why it is important to know how to use it.

Often listening is just that, listening, and it doesn’t require any intervention afterwards. On the other hand, it is necessary to be close, to create an almost shared space, to understand how the other person who is telling their story feels and, thus, be able to connect with them, creating more complicity and harmony, and this is woven with interest and patience.

Sharing silence also leads to unity. It’s a way of telling the other that he can count on us, whatever he’s going to tell us. A verb that goes from reporting to spelling out the passing of days in your company.

When we realize that we feel bad for seeing the other suffer with what they tell us, we will understand that listening opens a door to the interior of the other person. I want him not to suffer, I want to really know how he feels and not how I think he feels. I want him to feel that I’m here and that I’m not going to use phrases like “I already know”, “me too”, “I understand you”… Because these phrases really don’t help, I’m just going to be here, by his side, listening.

Create the ideal listening environment

This ideal environment is surrounded by silences. But they are not functional silences, which sometimes – let’s not kid ourselves – are quite uncomfortable. These are necessary silences. Silence gives us a space to rethink, reflect and chew the words we have just heard, so that we can continue the conversation.

Being in this silence makes the environment relax and not be in a hurry. Listening gives us clues about what the other person is needing and this can only be achieved when we really focus our attention on what they are saying and on their behavior. Silence creates a pause and invites us to keep talking. Silence helps us to listen to each other too. Finally, silence opens up the opportunity to speak, especially for people who are not very talkative and who need a little push before they dare get started.

close your eyes and listen

Close your eyes and open your ears, erase your lips and light your ears, disconnect your brain and connect your heart. Now you are ready to listen. Everything around you has sound, and if we’re talking, we can’t hear it. Everyone who comes to me tells me something about his being and his experience. If I don’t listen or answer, I won’t be able to really meet you.

Let’s forget the catch phrases that only try to silence the other’s displeasure and anxiety, as this is not listening. Sometimes, listening forces us not to respond right away, and a simple reaction like a hug or a smile after finishing talking is enough for us. Let’s create a listening context, just that, that is, simply being willing to listen to what the other has to say. Only then will I be able to react and know what he means and what to do next.

Listening is an art, it’s like the pencil that draws on the map the exact path we need to take to connect with other people. Listening is an art because it gives me the opportunity to get to know other realities and explore emotions I’ve never experienced, all from different angles. Listening allows me to get to know people and find the best way to help them. That’s why listening is an art that brings me closer to the unknown.