Take Care Of Your Energy
Every relationship is based on exchange. Advice, opinions, information, gifts, favors are exchanged and, among friends, it is very common to also exchange clothes. But many of us forget about the energy exchange that takes place in our relationships. It is known that there are people who cheer us up and leave us with a beautiful smile on their face, while others depress us and drain all our energy…
Although it may seem strange, in the way of speaking of some psychologists, these people are generally known as “Energy Vampires”. The truth is that this name suits them very well, because just like fictional creatures, these individuals can make you become a person who sucks the energy of others.
Well, after presenting such an unpleasant image, it ‘s fair to clarify that most of these people are not aware of the damage they cause. They simply have that way of being, they whine too much and want to take advantage of others, or sometimes they hurt others for the simple reason that they are hurt too.
How can we defend ourselves from “thieves” or “vampires” of energy?
The psychologist, Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter, says that the first step in taking care of these types of individuals is to know how to identify them, including doing a self-analysis to find out if you are one of them. You will then need to determine how much time you want to spend with these people.
Keynote speaker specializing in self-improvement topics, Craig Harper says in his article “Protect Yourself Against Energy Vampires” that once you’ve identified these people, you need to take the initiative. to change the way you communicate or interact with them. Therefore, you cannot allow your words to influence you in the same way that a friend’s words would.
When a friend tells you about a personal problem, you worry about him and put yourself in his place, in addition to offering your solidarity, helping with your energy in the search for a solution. However, with one of these people, this use of energy ends up being in vain.
Detect the trap and avoid it
Often these individuals want to have the same type of conversation (although it usually ends up being a monologue) about their problems. However, they are unwilling to act or follow the advice you have given. So, even though it might be a little uncomfortable, sometimes you need to tell them something like, “Last week, we already talked about your abusive relationship, your exasperating job, or whatever your favorite complaint is; if you’re not willing to do anything about it, I’d rather not talk about it any more.”
In extreme cases, even if it seems a little severe, it is necessary to avoid this type of person. In the article mentioned earlier, Harper shares the tactics that worked for him. “When an ‘Energy Vampire’ enters my office, I get up like I’m ready to go somewhere. I give them a few minutes and if I realize the person is returning to the same subject as usual, I start walking and finish the conversation.”
Does that sound like nasty behavior to you? So reflect on this: All we want is to be compassionate and to help our partners and relatives. However, some people just don’t want to be helped; they only look to us to ease the burden of their problems and always leave a part of the burden they had with you. They leave relieved and leave us agonized… This is not true friendship. Friends give and receive. So defend your energy and protect yourself.
Image Credits: Hartwig HKD
