Selfish People Are Incapable Of Love
We often have the ingrained idea that selfish people are narcissistic. We believe that these people only care about themselves, that they value and love themselves above all. However, the reality is quite different: selfish people not only find it difficult to love others, but also to love themselves.
We understand that a selfish person is one who is only interested in himself. She lacks respect and interest in the needs of others, she relates to people mainly because of their usefulness and the benefits they can derive from them.
Therefore, they establish instrumental relationships to cover their needs, without considering people’s emotional side. This can happen, in turn, out of fear of getting too involved in relationships and getting hurt. So actually what you’re doing is running away from love.
The selfish person does not get satisfaction from giving; your concern is basically what you will get in return. It may seem that all this energy that you focus on is due to the self-love you feel. However, all these attitudes imply a great inability to love yourself.
Selfish people have no self-love
It is common for people to confuse self-love with being selfish. A person who loves himself is far from looking like a selfish person, as there are notorious differences that denote a real concern for both himself and the people around him.
When we immerse ourselves in our own knowledge of ourselves, we in turn initiate a better understanding of others. Self-knowledge is the only way to be aware of our own limitations, lack of self-acceptance and all the fears underlying our behavior.
to love yourself to be able to love
It is essential to love yourself first so that you can love others. This fact is primordial and is far from what selfishness is. Meeting and listening to our own needs, giving them the value they deserve, supposes a respect for oneself, essential for learning to love oneself.
Considering our own emotions, expressing them and accepting them, makes us more authentic people with ease to relate from intimacy and trust, and not through the fear of being hurt, which only ends in superficial relationships, wherever we go adding layers that prevent us from seeing our own capacity to love.
We deceive ourselves into thinking we love
In the same way that the person who is selfish is incapable of love, so is the person who has a great concern for others, and is completely dedicated to those around him, disconnecting from himself. In this way, you find that you feel so much love that you are able to let go of your needs.
This example is easy to see in overprotective mothers and in people who forget themselves to pay attention to others, and be there for them when they need it. They are people who pour themselves into the needs of others as if they were their own.
This way of loving can be confused with very good people, who are willing to give themselves selflessly, and love their neighbor even more than themselves. This conclusion is equally misleading to the one that the selfish person loves himself very much. Both forms of loving are a self-deception in which an exaggerated compensation for your inability to love is manifested.
As we can see from the examples of selfish people and people who don’t care about themselves, these are two ways in which love for oneself does not exist, therefore, love for other people cannot exist.
