I Write Because I Have No Other Way To Kiss Him
I write because I miss you, because you left and just left a message as a farewell. I write because I no longer know if you ever loved me, because I need the words on the paper to tell me how I feel. I write because right now, I have no other way to kiss him.
Writing about what we think is the same as talking about what we feel. This helps us to reflect on the many facts that cause us suffering and to find a cure. Love is one of those facts that brings us many sorrows and joys.
They say it takes six months to a year to get over a breakup, the end of a romance. But actually, I still want to kiss him because there are people who are hard to forget. In these cases, what we must do is use all our emotional weapons to overcome sadness, and one of them is writing.
Writing as a way to heal wounds
As Walter Riso says in his “Practical guide to not suffering from love”, “Not all lack of love is bad and not all love is sustainable”. This is because often a breakup is liberating. Uncertainty about the other’s love is much worse than the certainty of a lack of love.
As we grow up and become adults, we learn what we want and what we don’t want from love. However, a breakup is a breakup and often leaves invisible marks. In these cases, it’s time to use our emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, a concept created by Daniel Goleman in the 1990s, is our ability to identify, understand, express and regulate our emotions and those of others effectively and productively.
One of the ways to accomplish this identification and understanding is through writing. Writing by hand, letting it move and showing each of our feelings through words, knowing that no one will judge us, can help us heal the wounds.
The written words that heal physical wounds
A few years ago, a study by psychologist Elisabeth Broadbent was published in the journal “Psychosomatic Medice”, entitled “Expressive writing and wound healing in older people”. In this study, she claims that writing works as a healing agent for a person’s sad stories or deep feelings.
The experiment was carried out with 49 participants between 64 and 97 years old, who underwent a biopsy that left a wound on their arms. They were asked to write twenty minutes a day and every four or five days their wound was photographed until it was completely healed.
Half of the people wrote about their traumatic experiences and emotions and the other half wrote about their daily lives without mentioning feelings. After eleven days, 76% of the first group had the wound healed against 42% of the second group.
The reason for this result, according to this study, is that “stress and depression are associated with slower wound healing”. (…) “Until now it has only been investigated how to reduce stress in older people through physical exercise”. (…) “A viable alternative might be expressive writing, which is short, easy to manage and cheap”.
When it comes to love, there is an invisible wound that hurts the heart, and that pain can be relieved by writing. Therefore, it is recommended to let go, write without thinking and let the words flow from your brain to the paper, gradually releasing your sadness.
I write because I can’t kiss you
I write to say that I love you and that I will never forget you, to kiss you because I can no longer get near your lips. I write because there are two plates and two glasses on the table and your scent is ingrained in my sheets. I write because when I write each word I shed a tear that dilutes the ink, but also your memory.
