How To Handle Stressful Situations

Learning to control stressful situations is almost a survival strategy. The mathematician and astronomer John Lubbock said that a day of worry is far worse than a day of hard work, and it’s true. The mental energy we use in these moments when pressure, anxiety and anguish invade us is immense.

On the other hand, there is something important that we need to take into account. The ability to cope with and manage these stressful episodes varies greatly from one person to another. Some people process their reality more positively. They have a more realistic outlook on life. Therefore, they are more resilient to each challenge. They even see in each challenge an opportunity to grow and even challenge themselves.

Others, on the other hand, worry about almost everything. Thus, the  causes stress for some, for others it is a task or situation that does not cause pressure or distress. It all depends on our past experiences and psychological resources that, even if they are not “factory-installed”, can be learned and acquired.

Albert Ellis pointed out in his famous book  How to control anxiety before it control you  that, in a way, both the  stress as anxiety are dimensions that are not without an upside. They act as an alert that we need to change certain aspects. Therefore, daring to do this will increase our well-being.

Advice for managing stressful situations

We know that controlling stressful situations is a challenge for which we do not always feel prepared. However, what do we really mean by “stressful times or situations”?

Although stress is, above all, a reality that comes from each individual’s personal perception, there are common scenarios or events that most of us can overcome.

Having to undergo surgery, dealing with legal and legal issues, and even facing certain tasks at work puts most people under pressure. Each will undoubtedly have more than one example in mind of what exceeds their personal management capabilities.

When it comes to knowing a patient’s coping capacity, two very specific factors are taken into account:

• How he perceives a complex situation (primary assessment).
• The interpretation he makes about his ability to face a stressful situation (secondary assessment).

Ideally, both aspects should be in balance. If you see the solution to the challenge as something within your grasp, then you have the resources to deal with it. Let’s see what resources you should put in place to handle stressful situations.

It’s not about making the stress “go away” but dealing with it

We cannot live without anxiety or stress. These mechanisms ensured our survival, drove our progress, and acted in concert with emotions and behaviors in a way that allowed us to generate change. So something you should know about stressful situations is:

• Stress should be on your side to help you develop adaptive behaviors.
• You shouldn’t make stress go away, but control and regulate it.
• To regulate stress, you must find the strategies that best suit your needs and personality. This process takes time and requires commitment.

There are three very specific dimensions when it comes to coping with stress:

Strategies focused on assessment to control stressful situations

How do you assess that challenge, problem or that complicated situation in front of you? Once you label these situations, your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are completely decisive.

So ideas like “this is too much”, “this is terrible”, “it’s impossible”, “it’s beyond my abilities” or “it’s a disaster” will end up intensifying the stress and anxiety even more.

Therefore, you must pay attention to how you assess the situation in front of you. Do not fall into carefree positivism and even less into drama. The most appropriate would be to carry out this type of assessment:

• It’s something I must do. I understand that it is normal for me to feel stress, but I will face it.
• I know this is a difficult situation. It may not work, but I’ll learn from it no matter what.

Emotion-Centered Strategies

As you know, the emotional plane is an important element when it comes to managing stressful situations. Your emotions can give you wings and the impetus to face anything, or they can put you in the corner of fear and block. As far as possible, it is essential to manage and control your internal universe so that it is in your favor.

In what way? These are some keys.

• Identify the emotions you are feeling.
• Rationalize. Notice which irrational thoughts fuel these emotions.
• Practice breathing and relaxation exercises. Practices like mindfulness can help.

Problem-Centered Strategies

You have already learned about the importance of realistically and appropriately assessing the problem or challenge, avoiding ideas that invalidate it and fuel anguish. You also know that it is essential to regulate your emotions so that they are in your favor. So what’s left to learn to manage stressful situations?

Having a plan may be the most relevant strategy:

• Develop strategies that allow you to solve the problem in the best way possible.
• Create your own “survival kit” to be prepared for anything that can happen.
• If you’re stressed about a job interview, get ready. If it’s because of a doctor’s appointment, practice relaxation and visualize any scenarios that might occur. On the other hand, if you are stressed out by negotiating at work, learn and train in communication skills.

To conclude, there will be many stressful situations throughout your life. It is normal to feel fear, but the key to overcoming them is to act in spite of the fear. This will help you to overcome any adverse circumstances.