How Do Complaints Affect The Brain?

Two friends meet. In five minutes one is suffocated and speechless when hearing the complaints of the other person. Complaints related to his parents, his brother, the lack of work, the lack of a girlfriend, the poor public health service, the lack of respect from his neighbors and the arbitrary measures that the government adopts.

There are situations in life that, without a shadow of a doubt, deserve your complaints as a normal reaction to release tensions accumulated by the event itself. The loss of a close family member, losing a job through a staff cut, a divorce, or a serious illness are painful experiences for which a complaint can awaken our empathy.

However, some people make complaints their daily bread. Furthermore, they think that all the “good people” in the world are obliged to hear these laments over and over again, because otherwise they would demonstrate that they are insensitive or selfish.

contemporary complaints

Living in today is not simple. We are permanently bombarded with news, most of it painful or worrisome. In addition, we need to tolerate grumpy bosses or upset colleagues, not to mention the personal problems we are exposed to, such as losses, illnesses and a lot of situations that are often stifling.

Given this scenario, in general, we have two options: Analyze each situation and look for the most appropriate solution, or resist and adopt the position of the grievance. What is worrying about this second option is that it becomes a habit, which limits our potential and generates a negative attitude in those around us.

We could think that complaining is a kind of relief in the face of pressure and maybe at times it fulfills this function. However, the complaint can become, without realizing it, a habit that we repeat as a vicious circle and that over time becomes the automatic response to difficulties.

consequences on the brain

According to research carried out by several neuroscientists, the brain will undergo significant changes according to the frequency and emotional intensity with which we complain. This is due to the fact that, during this condition of constant frustration and impotence, the brain releases hormones such as noradrenaline, cortisol and adrenaline that end up altering the normal functioning of this organ.

Some scientists even claim that being constantly exposed to the complaint deteriorates or eliminates neuronal connections present in the brain’s hippocampus. This is precisely the area in charge of finding solutions to the problems that affect us.

The insistence on complaints is a way of negatively conditioning ourselves, which generates rejection in others and ends up deteriorating our family, love or professional relationships. It is a condition of dependence and, therefore, immaturity and passivity in the face of problems.

What can we do?

Things are hardly going to be the way we want them to be, so why get frustrated and bitter about what won’t change, what’s out of our control? Wouldn’t it be more logical to have a more flexible attitude and adopt a more adaptable behavior that allows us to have better options in our lives?

The energy used to complain is what we need to overcome adversity. Changing this type of behavior will always be an option. It is true that in certain situations it is healthy to complain, it is a right that we must make use of because it is also part of our alternatives and strengthens our self-esteem, but we cannot let it become something chronic.

To overcome this stressful habit of complaining, it’s important to start by analyzing the problems with a cool head and evaluating what can be done, how and when. Learning to interpret things differently, less self-destructive and more purposeful. We do not intend to change everyone’s world, but let us make an effort to improve ours.

To keep in mind

There are situations in which the complaint becomes a conscious or unconscious manipulation strategy. The offender experiences guilt and the way to disguise such guilt is to awaken feelings of compassion or solidarity in the other, so as not to have to face the responsibility and consequences of their actions.

Complaint is a state of malaise that tends to perpetuate itself, a condition that causes suffering, but at the same time a negative pleasure. This doubtful satisfaction can be corrected with therapeutic help, which makes it possible to transform it into positive pleasure, that is, an active desire to overcome this state of passivity towards life.