Gentleness, A Force That Knocks Down Any Wall

Currently, it seems that kindness is in danger of extinction, especially in big cities. This has an anthropological explanation, since the large concentrations of population generate greater tensions and promote impersonal treatment. In fact, it is one of those factors that hinders psychological and emotional health in these spaces.

There are many places where, for example, greeting your neighbor is something strange. It is assumed as a waste of time or an unnecessary flattery. Everyone is going their own way. In this type of places, the gestures of kindness from others are not valued, being more likely for people who live there to develop problems related to anxiety, depression or difficulties to live life with a good attitude.

Even within the same families, sometimes these affectionate gestures are lost due to daily relationships and overconfidence. However, expressions of kindness are not a luxury, but a lifestyle that is imprinted on relationships with others. They nurture positive emotions and protect us from negative emotions.

the gene of kindness

Science has shown that we all come into the world with a built-in goodness gene. In other words, we are a species that needs others to survive and we have the biological imprint of that. Altruism and cooperation were decisive for the human being to have evolved.

Some studies show that from the age of 6 months, children already express friendly behavior towards others. They make choices between closing themselves off or opening up to others. They often choose to interact and be generous with others. They are also very receptive to expressions of sympathy.

Therefore, it is natural for us to be nice to others. Lack of sympathy is the result of a civilization that promotes individualism to the extreme. We go against our inner selves when we see others as perfect strangers who have nothing to do with us.

Sympathy is a strength

Sympathy is a highly elaborated attitude. It implies self-control, self-confidence, empathy, valuing others and awareness of the relationship between the individual and the group. It is also a huge force within social relationships. Much more is gained by being kind, than by indolence or a dry treatment.

A kind person is someone with developed emotional intelligence. It’s one of those attitudes that are contagious. It is normal for a loving person to generate kindness and goodwill around you. This is a great way to avoid conflicts or prevent them from taking on large dimensions.

Kindness promotes good character. It supposes expressing affection and consideration for others without neglecting ourselves. It is an attitude capable of calming someone who is angry and comforting someone who is sad. No wonder, amiability is a word that comes from the Latin amabilis , which means: worthy of being loved.

The benefits of kindness

If we start from the fact that we are social beings and naturally predisposed to cooperate with others,  it is not a question of learning to be kind, but of unlearning behaviors of hostility or indifference. It is worth it.

The advantages of kindness are enormous. These are some of them:

• Protects physical health. A kind person has fewer conflicts with others and the world. This, in brain terms, implies less cortisol production and more oxytocin (the “happiness hormone”) available.
• Preserves mental health. Being kind to others stabilizes our mood and prevents states of stress and anxiety. Kind acts make us feel better about ourselves. They make us more secure and confident.
• It contributes to good social relations. Kindness pulls us out of self-absorption and helps us connect with others. Nurturing environments so that they are more collaborative and welcoming. It helps everything flow correctly.
• It is a protection mechanism against the “bad vibrations” of others. Kindness has the power to deactivate negative attitudes in others. To that extent, it is a barrier and an effective response against aggression and rejection.

Before finishing, it is important to clarify. Being kind is not being servile,  nor getting used to “turning the other cheek”. Rather, it is a style of behavior and communication that reaffirms the person taking care not to overlook anyone, nor to be insensitive to others.