Clinging Does More Damage Than Letting Go

Life has taught me that getting attached can be dangerous at times. Getting attached to the known, to what we are used to, is relatively easy, but even if it hurts, you have to let time pass.

In the end, clinging to something or someone and turning that object or person into a need has consequences. Living attached, surrounded by “must haves” and beliefs that convince us of what makes us truly happy is to empower our ego. It’s enslaving our well-being to the point of destroying it.

Because nothing outside, not even a person, will bring us happiness, no matter how much we believe in it. Not even a dream come true.

What’s more, living in the past is not the right path either. Because even though nostalgia inspires and enriches us, surviving on memories remains a form of attachment.

They can’t be seen or touched, but they do exist in our minds, and there’s nothing more dangerous than getting too attached to an idea to stand on its own, especially if it hurts us. Therefore, clinging causes more harm than letting go…

The needs invented by clinging

What makes you happy? Think about it. What is essential on your list to be happy? A partner? A house? Work on what you want? To be number one or at least stand out among the first? Or perhaps having children?

In any case, I would like you to seriously reflect on this. Do you need all this to be happy? What do you want more: the object, the dream, the person, or the resulting feeling of knowing that things somehow belong to you?

Often, and without realizing it, we create a list of conditions that we link to the concept of happiness. A series of expectations that form an ideal world that, for a few moments, we believe to be real. The problem is, we’ve automated this so much that we’ve come to believe.

“When I have a job, I will become independent”, “When I am independent, I will finally be able to dedicate my time to what I like”, “Many hours of work and effort will pay off and, in the end, I will achieve my dream” , “I will find a partner and be very happy with him… let’s build a home together”… These are just a few examples.

Thus, what was once a dream becomes a reality that we want to achieve. We direct all our efforts and, when it doesn’t happen, when all this falls apart or the circumstances don’t happen as we imagined, the discomfort becomes present, while we continue to desire the ideal of happiness that we had created.

Now we don’t just have to face our thoughts, which remind us that we’re not so valid or so good, but also our emotions: anger, anger, disappointment, frustration, bitterness. Unwittingly and unknowingly, we create our own trap through a series of invented needs.

The suffering that comes from attachment

Conditioning our mood to objects, dreams and people is expensive. The point is, no one taught us how to do this, quite the opposite.

We are continually bombarded by advertising messages that show us how we can be “happy and fulfilled”. Just take a quick look at the media.

Clinging to something or someone, clinging to an idea of ​​how things should be, are the seeds of suffering. Why? Because nothing is permanent, just change.

Because rigidity results in paralysis, wear and tear and enslavement to malaise. Because we all change…or do you think it’s the same as seven years ago? I’m sure not.

Therefore, ignoring impermanence and clinging to objects, ideas and people is aimed at unhappiness. “A person cannot bathe in the same river twice,” said Heraclitus, and he was absolutely right. Is water, or are we the same?

However, this does not mean that we should live loose without caring about anything, but that we should pay attention to how we relate to others and objects, and especially with our mind.

That way, we will be able to identify when we are on the path to turning something or someone into a need.

let go to receive

Let go, say goodbye or let go. There are several names for the practice of detachment, which frees us from needs and breaks the molds we created with the intention of being happy.

Letting go is a process of growth and transformation that only happens when we learn that nothing is forever and that everything changes. It is respect for the cycle of life and the understanding that there are things that, however much we want to, cannot happen, but other things will happen.

Letting go is knowing that thoughts change and that what was good for us yesterday is not so good today. It is to cultivate a flexible mind trained to face new circumstances, prepare the heart to let go of those who can no longer be with us, and release the affections rooted in a certain object or situation.

This is not to say that they are not important to us, but that they are not necessary conditions for us to be happy, however difficult it may be at first.

Letting go of attachment is the path to balance, the midpoint and release from the ego. It is the path that allows us to work from within with ourselves to get to know ourselves.

An act of courage that allows us to overcome the barriers of our comfort zone and lose the fear of living dependent on what we are too attached to.

Letting go is embracing loss as a fundamental part of life, practicing acceptance, cultivating a flexible mind and an honest heart. Because life is change, but also movement, and we mustn’t forget that.