Breadcrumbing, The Latest Fashion For Breaking Up With Someone

William Shakespeare, one of the greatest writers in the history of mankind, claimed that  “the wounds we do not see are the deepest.” These wounds are precisely the consequence of a way of acting that is threatening to become fashionable and that has unfortunately already achieved a certain popularity. We are talking about breadcrumbing.

Sometimes  human beings are able to fabricate ways of coping that are really miserable or with little regard  for our nature as feeling beings. A form of abandonment after one or several encounters, ghosting, became popular. She was characterized by ignoring and disappearing completely from the world of the person who wanted to leave. Now, it looks like Beadcrumbing has replaced this behavior. Stay with us to find out what it consists of.

What is Breadcrumbing?

Especially popularized on social networks, this term comes from the English word breadcrumb, which means bread crumbs. That is, this behavior is put into practice by people who send minimal signals to their partner or lover, so that they know they are still there,  giving hope that the relationship can progress. However, those who do know that this will never happen.

As we said,  this kind of “technique”, to call it somehow, was born and grew mainly on social networks. However, it seems to go further. In other words, it reaches relationships where physical encounters are established in which the other person is treated with kindness… But without reaching anything concrete.

In other words, as its name indicates,  this person leaves “bread crumbs” and creates hope in the other. However, in his heart he knows that the situation will never come to anything because in no case is the person willing to bet on the relationship, thereby causing considerable pain to the other, who will end up feeling very frustrated at having tried everything and not having succeeded to hit.

According to specialists, such as psychologist Encarna Muñoz, this practice can cause anxiety and pain in victims. The signals they receive are wrong, so that at all times they have the feeling that they are suffering something, but without knowing how.

How do you know if you are a victim of breadcrumbing?

In reality, this is a form of manipulation. Therefore, it is important to know if you are being a victim of this type of action so that you can stop it as soon as possible. It is necessary to stick to these points:

• If our partner is an unconcise and clear person. Normally, when making plans, the partner gives ambiguous answers such as “we’ll see” or “maybe”, but the realization never comes.
• It gives “signs of life” for very long periods of time. In other words, you can go weeks without knowing where this person is. However, he always leaves the door ajar, ends up coming back to get you, but he never intensifies the communication.
• Generally, they  look for interaction online  and tend to run away from the physical relationship, although this is not always the case. In addition, they manufacture a kind of “bite and blow”, a flirtation that serves to keep the other person captive, but never take the step to go further.
• They act wrongly and inconsistently. They may make you feel wonderful, but if you look closely, there are gaps in your behavior. Besides, they’re experts at making you believe that this nonsense is in your head.

• It’s never the time to talk about feelings. Obviously, they are afraid of “showing up to hit”. So, as much as you want intimacy, you will never find the right occasion. They will make excuses as they do not seek to intensify or deepen the relationship.

What to do if you are a victim of breadcrumbring?

It is not always easy to be aware that we are being victims of practices like this. However, if you notice something is wrong, you can find out if someone is behaving this way. Pay attention to these points:

• Analyze the situation objectively. Anyone who practices this technique can make you feel guilty because you are insecure. However, it is necessary to analyze the situation as objectively as possible. Does it seem normal to you to receive a message from the person every two or three weeks?

• Do you really want a relationship where every time something doesn’t fit you feel guilty? Do you believe it’s normal to have a relationship where intimacy is little or no, no matter how long it takes? Since you are certainly going to respond in the negative, you need to go a step further and get rid of this situation.
• Set limits. As much as the other person doesn’t want to create intimacy, speak clearly and set boundaries. If the person still doesn’t respond, you’ll know you’re not in a healthy relationship.

Now you know this new form of “relationship” a little better. If something like this is happening to you, it is very possible that sooner or later you will have to put an end to it or that the other will do it for you. Try to get out of there as soon as possible, as the suffering in these cases can be very great.