Beauty Is Feeling Good About Yourself

There is no better attraction than feeling good about yourself. There is no better satisfaction than that obtained after navigating the waters of self-knowledge to discover values, strengths and needs. Only then do we make the best decisions, those with which we feel free, fulfilled and endowed with the particular beauty that makes us unique.

Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh remembers in one of his books that there is no person more beautiful than the one who always acts in connection with your inner self.

That person who does not seek to be accepted by others, but validated and welcomed by their own heart, by the very essence that defines us. However, we can say almost without fear of making a mistake that there are many people who look in the mirror daily without meeting themselves.

It’s almost like a weird spell. We only appreciate ourselves when others validate us, when others give us positive reinforcement with their words, gestures, comments and recognitions. If this doesn’t happen very often, we fall into the abyss of invisibility, of non-presence, of self-esteem that gradually breaks down.

On the other hand, Korean philosopher Byung-Chul Han shows in his work that we are “burning” in the hell of sameness. In his book “The expulsion of the different”, he invites us to reflect on this idea. We are losing the ability to value the uniqueness of each one, what makes us unique and exceptional, the identity mark that we should preserve before satisfying other desires.

The art of attracting is feeling  good about yourself.

Getting to feel good about yourself takes time, but when you get there, everything changes, and the same load seems to weigh less. The weights of conventionalism are left behind, as well as the chains we often put over our minds, hearts and feet in an attempt to look good like everyone else, not to disappoint, to be exactly as others expected.

When this peak of personal development is reached, something Maslow called self-actualization, the world is seen in a different way. There is a greater perspective for understanding things, as well as a calm within with which we can move through our reality with greater precision, resolution and freedom. In the eyes of others, all these virtues are, without a doubt, as attractive as they are desirable.

However, and going back once more to Byung-Chul Han’s theories, there is one aspect that we must take into account. Sometimes we perceive ourselves as completely fulfilled people, we believe we have it all because we managed to climb to the golden top that society itself presented to us. However, sooner or later we will realize a small aspect: we are not situated on this top, but on an abyss.

Our consumer society and even our education guide us to material and alienated success that has nothing to do with our personal fulfillment. After all, to feel good about yourself you must conquer other territories, other more invisible scenarios for which we don’t always have the best tools.

We are, of course, talking about dimensions such as self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-love, assertiveness, ability to conquer, emotional independence, etc.

3 steps to feel good about yourself

According to a study by Ulrich Orth and Ruth Yasemin Erol of the University of Berlin, people reach a higher level of self-esteem at older ages, around 60. Why didn’t we reach this dimension sooner? Why, during our youth and adulthood, do we not develop this very essential part of our personal development?

There are undoubtedly many factors. However, in addition to the aspects that limit us and that can prevent us from getting along with ourselves, there is a need to make changes. To be proactive to work with this exceptional psychological tendon that is self-esteem and personal fulfillment. So let’s look at these 3 steps.

Improve your attribution style

The attribution style has to do with how we relate our experienced achievements and failures. When I get something, is it because other people helped me or because I tried hard enough? We must take control of our reality and, for that, it is necessary to recognize our values, competences and capabilities.

Each success or mistake made depends only on the person. So one way to feel good about ourselves is to be able to recognize how much we are worth, what we can achieve, where our strengths lie, and also our limitations.

The only voice we should listen to is within us

Our world is inhabited by hundreds, thousands of voices. The voices of our family, our teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, partners, voices from social media, fashion, the voices of so-called experts and gurus of politics, personal growth, etc. are present.

Among all these sounds, there is one that is often silenced: our own voice. So, let’s devote some of our energy to silencing all this environmental noise from time to time and listening, understanding our true needs.

Make your passions your way of life

So, to feel good about yourself, follow your passions. Don’t let yourself be dragged by other people’s tastes or advice, tune in to your own identity and make your preferences, identity and essence your way of life.

If we orient our daily lives to this path that comes from ourselves, we will feel not only more satisfied, but also more fulfilled in every way.

People with that kind of courage, with this ability to make their own way without caring what other people think, are always more attractive. Because there is no beauty more dazzling than that of someone who leaves conventionalism behind and follows its essence at any time and in any circumstance.