I Listen To Everyone, But I Must Decide For Myself
There are songs that say that life cannot be understood without a good coffee among friends, perhaps because around them the best conversations and the most useful advice emerge. In fact, when I have to make an important decision, these cafes are pure energy: it’s in them that I listen and let myself be heard, even though in the end I’m always responsible for deciding.
And whoever says a coffee says any other moment surrounded by friends, since the contact with the relationships we have seriously benefits emotional health and helps us to handle complicated situations that we always have to deal with at some point in life.
In this sense, allowing our inner “I” to express what it feels to people in our closest social circle brings different advantages, especially in circumstances of restlessness in which we feel truly confused: there are many difficult paths that open up in our lives, and walking together is to gain greater stability.
Listening helps to see what we don’t see
The first great advantage of being heard is, without a doubt, being able to hear from another perspective : the problems distress us, put pressure on us and bring a huge load of responsibility, so a look that doesn’t feel like we do can contribute to clarifying doubts about the topic.
Imagine that you are currently working and that, at least to some extent, you enjoy your work. There are, however, some reasons why you would quit your job, such as being closer to your family. In this situation, you are offered a job that has nothing to do with your mastery of knowledge, but that will allow you to get closer to your loved ones. What decision would you make?
It is very difficult to be at the center of all this and understand what one or another decision entails. For this reason we look for those who are always close to us, those who know how to help us : they give us their perspective, thus making us see other pros and cons that we do not see from our particular position. In the end, we were able to take all the positions and decide for ourselves.
Deciding individually also involves the strength of others
In every decision there is the probability of being wrong – not wrong – since risking a change always means losing something, and this is a condition that we must accept. Consequently, here is the second big advantage: the more cloudy the sky when faced with a problem, the more we will need the strength and wisdom of others.
How many times have we wanted someone dear to listen to us when deep down we were just looking for the strength we lacked to make a decision? I decide, yes, but sometimes I need a push, a hug, a few words of support: to think that there is whatever there is, there will be someone else there.
In other words, in an individual decision there is also the strength of others because their loving advice reminds us that above all they want us well and only try to help us achieve the best for us.
I will decide because the results are for me
What is certain is that behind the premise “I listen to everyone, but I decide” there is a reality in which decisions in one’s life may depend on many people, but the consequences fall solely on us.
It is absolutely beneficial, as we have already stated, to let others give us their point of view about the options we have, but we are the exclusive owners of our actions that we ultimately perform : no one will be responsible for something that will only fall on us, no one will assume the mistakes of our decisions and no one will walk with the weight of the chosen path.
So, with that in mind, don’t refuse to listen even if you don’t agree with what you’re being told or come to think that they aren’t opinions full of kindness. It’s good to open your mind to other looks, as long as you are able to not lose your gaze completely : you know what you need and how you need it, and only you can live your way, decide for yourself and act for yourself same.
