3 Tips For Getting Out Of A Codependent Relationship
It is not easy to get out of a codependent relationship, one in which the members of the couple are not only addicted to each other’s dependence, but also need to constantly help and care about each other in order to feel good. That is, they forget about themselves and focus all their attention on the other.
The main problem is that this kind of relationship is based on insecurity. This is why it is so important to end the codependent relationship, since the rest of the threads that weave it, in addition to insecurity, are fear, dependence, low self-esteem and unhappiness.
The main support of this type of relationship is emotional dependence, the extreme and continuous affective need to be and be for the other, to be nobody without him. In fact, due to the low self-esteem of the two involved, both will try to find happiness through their partner.
That way, most of your life will revolve around your relationship. Thus, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to extend your personal life beyond the other person.
Below, we’ll share some advice for getting out of a codependent relationship. This way, you will be able to recognize the source of the problem and know what to do if you find yourself in this situation.
Exiting a codependent relationship
First, it will be better to recognize the decisions made throughout the relationship. This first step will be based on an analysis of the path that has been followed so far, as objectively as possible. The idea is to assess whether you are staying with your partner because you want to or not to hurt him. If this last reason is the real one, it’s important that you realize that taking care of it is not your responsibility.
Therefore, if you find that this relationship no longer serves you, you must make the decision to end it. In these types of relationships, people neglect their own needs. Therefore, when leaving a codependent relationship, you must have a firm attitude and be aware that it is the best option for both of you.
To end the relationship, it’s best to talk to the other person. That way you can make her understand the problems the situation brings for both of you from your point of view, and explain why the best option is to quit. At this point, it will be very important to act calmly, as the other person is likely not to accept the decision. If you remain calm, you can better manage a reaction of anger or sadness from the other person.
How to face codependent relationship behaviors
Once the breakup is formalized, it is worth analyzing the positive aspects that the relationship offered. It’s possible that, now that you can think about it more calmly, you’ll realize that it kept you from developing.
When leaving a codependent relationship, it is common for people to feel happier and more energetic as time goes on. This will help you stand firm in the face of the breakup.
Even so, after leaving a codependent relationship, it is also common to feel abandoned. Breaking the dynamic in which one of the people was, for the most part, busy with the other brings a certain emptiness to everyday life. If you find these feelings too intense, you can go to therapy to help you manage your grief.
On the other hand, ending the relationship will give you the opportunity to start meeting your own needs. This is something you couldn’t do before, but now you can be completely dedicated to yourself, without the need for someone else to define how important you are.
Dealing with the repercussions of separation
Finally, to avoid falling into relationship dependency, it will be important to create physical distance with the other person. You should do what you can to spend less time with her and keep yourself occupied with your own needs. Some recommendations are: live in separate houses and start interacting with other people.
On the other hand, you must also accept the sadness and discomfort you will feel at the breakup and separation. Experiencing these feelings, rather than repressing them, is essential for moving forward. Only then can you avoid falling into feelings of distrust or fear towards other people or possibilities of starting a new relationship.
Little by little, the sadness and discomfort will disappear, while satisfying your needs will bring you greater and greater happiness. However, having good social support is essential to turning the page. So it is recommended to spend more time with your family and friends. They can help you in your difficult times or when you need to make a difficult decision.
Finally, don’t forget that it’s very important to spend some time alone to process everything that happened and manage your emotional world. This way, you can heal the wounds, regain your self-esteem and be prepared to live happily, whether single or in a new relationship.
