Emotional Spaces: My Favorite Place Is With You

One of the basic rules of mental health is to live and develop daily in positive emotional spaces. They are those where the main rule is “to be and let be”, are environments where we can feel free, but connected to something or someone. We should all have a favorite place, an enriching setting in which to emotionally flourish and grow.

The theme of emotional spaces is not new, however, most of the documentation and bibliography we find is almost always associated with work contexts. In fact, as we all know, in few places we’ve been impacted by the emotional climate as much as where we work every day. In them, there are always facilitating variables with which we feel comfortable to relate, or even to put all our human potential into the hands of the organization itself.

However, we can say that the always interesting theme of the emotional space goes far beyond the work context. To begin with, there is a basic aspect that we must not forget: from the moment there is a physical space where one or more people live, a certain climate is created. We all “release” emotional emissions, which added to those of other members, create an enriching, hostile, or neutral environment.

In turn, something very curious that some psychologists explain is that five minutes are often enough to capture, for example, the emotional climate of a house or a family. Reading expressions, tones of voice and communication style can allow us to deduce many things.

In addition, real estate agents even know that within 30 seconds after entering a house, the person already knows whether he likes it or not. Because sometimes, even if an environment is empty of people, our brain continues to be impregnated with very subjective emotional stimuli (the brightness, the colors and those punctual details to which our mind will give an emotional value based on our experiences and style of personality).

Emotional spaces, places where the heart is

Herman Melville said that the most beautiful places don’t appear on maps. The most beautiful spaces are those that two people who love each other build in a mature way, who break down their own walls to expand the other, who sow respect and reap satisfaction, who invest in their own happiness knowing that this internal well-being is reversed, by their own time, to be loved.

Positive and quality emotional spaces, more than we might think, are not easy to build. A mistake that sometimes makes us sink in this purpose is to think that every happy and meaningful environment is built making others happy. In this way, and as an example, we make it easier for our position in a work environment to be that of a submissive and complacent person who does not have the initiative to propose and generate, with their attitude, positive changes for the organization.

Meanwhile, at the relational or family level, we would shape the figure who prioritizes the emotions of others over his own, generating sooner or later a climate of repressed frustration and bitter dissatisfaction in the environment. With all this, we want to make clear a phrase to reflect:  positive emotional spaces demand, first of all, an investment in ourselves.

Human quality, combined with emotional maturity and assertiveness, can put limits on the formation of any toxic environment, for example.

If all these dimensions already inhabit me originally, they will condition my behavior and, therefore, also the emotional climate. It is necessary to understand that any enriching emotional environment will undoubtedly depend on the psychological profile of its inhabitants.

How to create generous, positive and strong emotional spaces

Our everyday emotional spaces must be our favorite places. Those where we can always be ourselves, where we know they will respect our ideas, values ​​and feelings. They are delimited places where the relational bonds with those who are with us do not act like chains or grids, but like warm winds that fill our candles with hope, making us feel free and full of possibilities.

Therefore, it is not enough that they love us, it is essential that people love us and, for that, to create positive and generous emotional spaces, it is recommended that we apply these simple strategies. Let’s reflect on each of them below.

4 Keys to Building Generous Emotional Environments

Before we focus on the emotional state of those around us, let’s start with ourselves. What most affects emotional spaces is personal frustration, irritability, or being defensive. So let’s go deeper into our emotions and learn to manage them before we vent our anger, anxiety, or needs on others.

• Positive reinforcements. Emotional climate experts tell us that, on average, people can tolerate one negative comment a day, such as a disapproval, a criticism, or a warning, as long as they receive four positive comments. In turn, an exaggerated excess of positive words would lead to an uncomfortable feeling of falsehood or artificiality.

• Constant, sincere and assertive communication. In addition to positive reinforcement and emotional caresses, a quality emotional environment requires constant dialogue in which to apply active listening, empathy and assertiveness.
• Facilitate a proper connection.  In a work environment, we can get along with a lot of people. However, the real quality in both a work environment and a home is having the feeling that we “connect” with others, that there is something that transcends simple courtesy or even language. It’s the complicity.

Last but not least, a key strategy for nurturing any emotional space is knowing how to take care of the little things, the finer details.  Any wise eye is on the lookout for these daily subtleties that we must highlight through consideration, gratitude or through a “thank you for being here”, a “what I would do without you” or “my favorite place is always by your side”.

We will take care of these aspects on a daily basis so that we can create much happier environments.

Images courtesy of Vladimir Kush.