As Long As Fear Controls You, You Cannot Be Happy

Although we spend a lot of time fantasizing about being happier, we rarely make the necessary changes to achieve this. This fact has a powerful reason: fear. What happens if what we’re doing now doesn’t help us be happier or, even worse, might spoil what we’ve got?

The fear of disappointment, of change, of losing what we have, however little, works as a barrier that not only keeps us from being happier, but also creates a great sense of frustration that makes the current situation get even worse. Ironic, don’t you think?

Overcome the fear of what paralyzes you

Many people create routines that, despite making them feel miserable, give them enough security to think that even if their life is not entirely satisfying, at least there is some control over it. So they disguise what is panic as laziness or comfort. And they complain about life as if control were in other people’s hands. But this is an illusion. You don’t control anything like that.

This false sense of security brings out the fear of doing what we really know we need to do to feel better and be happier. But the fear of not achieving, that the feeling is not what we expected or the “certainty” that happiness is nothing more than an illusion, paralyzes us.

This fear consumes us in lack of action, which makes us conform to thinking about what we could do, what we could achieve. But thinking without doing only makes us feel even sadder.

Steps to overcome the fear that keeps us from being happier

To get a better life, it is necessary to overcome the fear that holds us, let go of the frustration and trust ourselves a little more. We have the potential to be happier, but we need to overcome the limits we impose. Like? Let’s see below:

1- Define what happiness means to you

We constantly receive messages about what happiness is and how to achieve it. These messages, in general, are contradictory and respond to a multitude of criteria, often arising from consumerism, marketing and advertising or ways of seeing life.

But what is happiness? This is something that everyone needs to define based on their self-knowledge and their own values. In fact, often the fear of being happy is actually a fear of stepping out of the mold that seems to be defined by the environment and society.

If you feel stuck, you should consider whether the happiness you are looking for is actually what you want or simply what you think you should want. If you clarify your goals regarding your happiness, you will find it easier to identify the steps you need to take to reach it.

2- Convince yourself that you deserve to be happy

You didn’t come into the world to suffer. You deserve to be happy. But saying we deserve happiness is one thing, believing it is quite another. Perhaps your childhood experiences or memories of past relationships have made you believe that it’s hard to be happy, that you don’t deserve happiness.

The lack of self-esteem that can come from traumatic or negative experiences can create obstacles when it comes to pursuing our dreams. But the past, past is. There are still many opportunities ahead. The fear that something similar to what you have already experienced will happen again should not paralyze you, but give you strength. In the end, having had a hard time in the past will help you enjoy and savor every little detail.

3 – Make your happiness your priority

We are often willing to put everyone’s needs before our own, leaving our happiness waiting. However, to have the energy to take care of others, we need to make our own happiness a priority.

That’s why we need to find ways to create greater balance to focus on our own goals, as well as establish healthy boundaries with those around us. If someone criticizes you or tries to make you feel bad for thinking about yourself, don’t worry or feel guilty. Only those who like themselves are capable of loving others.

4 – Prepare and plan the way

The fear of getting stuck on the path is normal and natural, especially when walking aimlessly and without knowledge. To feel more secure, prepare the way, plan and analyze. This way you will eliminate some of the uncertainties, and at the same time you will reinforce the objective.

Slowly think about what obstacles exist or might arise, how you can address them, and how you will manage problems. Also, don’t forget that any change requires a sacrifice. Think about the benefits of giving up certain things or habits and think about how you will handle the difficulties that giving up entails.

5 – Believe in yourself

Often, when we contemplate change, the idea of ​​thinking that we cannot do what is necessary paralyzes us. The idea that we cannot succeed from our inner critic puts us back at the starting point.

No problem. This is normal. When it comes to making important life decisions, we all experience fear and doubt. It’s time to respond with confidence. If you’re determined to achieve something, you’ve come a long way to get to this point. Remember: you have to let go of something in order to move forward. Letting go of your fears is part of the plan.