Being Alone When You Want To Fall In Love
There is a time in single life when we don’t want to fall in love with someone anymore. The passion cycle seems too repetitive and ephemeral, and the enchantment wears off, the Platonic affections lose interest – and nothing remains, not even the physical attraction.
Because the physique deteriorates, the enthusiasm ceases
At least that’s what happened to me. I got to a time when I was tired of falling in love and getting annoyed, because either it wasn’t quite that person who completed me, or it wasn’t quite that feeling I was looking for.
Until I found out that no one completes me
I decided to fall in love with the concept of love. Explore it, with no one to teach me but myself. And that period was a beautiful blossoming of my love for myself, and a whole new perspective that changed my desire for a loving relationship. I was no longer anxious to have someone who awakens the feeling of love in me, but who was a confirmation of what I already felt for myself.
What I came to want was an incarnation of the love I already felt when I was alone, so that I could live it in a richer and more complete way.
Many people are looking for love. Little do they know they are the love they seek
It’s not about being in a relationship or not, but about letting the feeling dominate us, inspire us. If we want a partner, we have to, as the movies say, stop looking and let the Universe take care of it.
The Universe takes care of bringing to us a vibrationally similar being, and the options are countless. However, we are all looking for that person, that being who is our peace, who makes us feel at home anywhere in the world. That person is what we call “soul mate” here on Earth.
It is the person who, among all the options, brings us calmer. The purest sensation of love, friendship and harmony. It’s the one that, when the bad moments happen, she’s there, and doesn’t judge us, she just listens and is there. It is the silent breath.
It’s the one that, when the physical attraction isn’t so turned on, makes us shiver with words alone. With small gestures it brings us a smile, with a simple kiss it improves our whole day.
That’s why there may have been many passions, but only one love. There are people who dispense with passing cases, to wait for “such”. There are others who tire of the absence of this pure love in everyone they meet along the way and have no option but to surrender to the one who finally brings it.
But on the way to find the perfect person for us, the one with whom we want to spend our whole life, we all go through this phase of solitude, of inner cleansing.
We clear all limiting beliefs and doubts and let our guard down for synchrony to happen. For the person we choose to show up. It’s time for everyone to be alone, to discover yourself. And that time can come early in life or later, even with marriage and children. The force of the desire for pure love is so intense that at times everything can fall apart for the way to open up.
And there are people who take a long time to discover the truth – that we should stick with whoever adds us and not who we think completes us. They may even be stubborn, hiding in a relationship that is not what makes them happy, but which is already going so far that it would be bad in society’s eyes to leave it so suddenly (especially if you are a woman).
But, as Joseph Campbell says, “we must leave the life we plan for the one that awaits us”. Well then, we must drop the kind of love that tells us that it is right, what seems better, more right… for the one who waits for us, what we choose and what makes us happy.
If we want something and have old thought patterns that chain us to different people and places, we can and must go through a phase of cleansing and aloneness.
We must change our expectation about love, and feel it within us without any evidence or event, that is, regardless of the conditions – this is unconditional love.
