Don’t Want To Lose? Learn To Care

Relationship is an interesting subject. In all senses. But today I will only write about the lovers. Everyone wants to have someone to share a life with, although there are very few exceptions. There are some who are happy alone, but the vast majority dream of meeting someone special.

And many times people do, but most people tell me “no luck” or “I have a bad finger” and so on. I don’t need to delve into each of these people’s lives to see a big difficulty: they don’t worry about taking care of the other, instead they build a high fence around them so as not to lose them. They are relationships based on self-centeredness, possession, jealousy, dependence, everything but affection.

Love becomes a great fear of losing, only. A lack of trust, the dangerous idea of ​​considering a loved one a personal possession. Any relationship based on some form of fear inevitably generates a great deal of suffering. And then the relationship stops being good, it starts to bother.

As strange as it may seem, there are many couples who maintain this type of relationship from time to time. They do harm to each other and, worse still, stay in it for years. They sabotage self-esteem, tear your feelings apart, become emotionally ill people.

There are people who have the need to dominate the relationship, this indicates a lack of self-confidence, so it is necessary to find strategies and defense mechanisms to disable the other person and have them under your reins, under your control. There is a huge fear of losing and an anxiety that anguishes, because you can’t live in a “little world” where there are only two people!

Both the need to control and dependence are inhibiting elements that cause the relationship to become unbalanced. It is clear that love relationships are complex. But, in fact, the complexity resides in the people themselves and not in the relationship itself.

Since the world is the world, people suffer because of relationships. There is a lack of emotional skills to know how to demonstrate adequate reciprocity, that is, the person often gives too much, many complain that they are suffocated, others who donate too little, do not know how to transfer affection, among other difficult situations.

The great strategy for solving such problems is self-love, a relationship with oneself, of self-knowledge and acceptance. But most people wonder how they can love themselves, how to show that affection, how to accept themselves, how to recognize that they are unique and special?

Easy isn’t it. It is essential not to forget the importance of taking care of yourself, of listening

A good self-esteem, self-knowledge and a good emotional balance will make anyone remember who they shouldn’t consider, who shouldn’t care, who doesn’t deserve their attention, much less their sadness.

In relationships that work and bring happiness to both, there is no need for control because there are no fears, fears, insecurities, nor the desire to violate the personal space of the loved one. Emotionally balanced people share its plenitude, do not bring shadows of selfishness, nor voids that others should fill.

Healthy relationships take care of each other and, in turn, allow everyone to consider their own growth, feeling free and, at the same time, being part of a common project. The feeling that someone demands us, controls us and doesn’t consider us to undermine our happiness.

The important thing is to have an attitude, defend your territory, take care of your rights and, above all, listen to the voice of your heart asking for respect and space. It is essential to take care of yourself and your self-esteem. The other enters our lives to add, to share, to contribute. Before loving others, love yourself.