A Slap Will Never Be Able To Educate As Affection Educates

This article is  dedicated to all the people who think that “a good slap in time is what children need to stop their nonsense”. I’m talking about the slap, the famous one that people give children to correct their behavior problems. I talk about it so we can think about how sad it is.

We went from an educational model in which children could not open their mouths to  a mixture of models that disorient the parents and create chaos in the references of the children themselves. A kind of Tower of Babel in which relativism rules: everything is questionable, everything can be bad, everything can be good. It depends, as the song said.

A slap is violence, a pinch is also violence

“If I don’t hit my son, if I don’t slap him once in a while to make him behave, he’ll forget who’s boss”,  “Actually, it hurts me more than him”, “I don’t like , but sometimes it is the only option I have left” . Well, first of all,  if we teach our children that violence – no matter what type it is – serves a purpose, that’s what they’ll learn.

They will probably not like hitting their classmates either, but they will use it as an option, as their guardians, parents or educators also use it as a possibility. In fact, they use it with him, who is very much loved; so why not use this with those we like least?

“Sometimes I have no other option” . This phrase connects violence to frustration, perhaps not in its statement, but in reality. In the slap or pinch is the frustration of not having been able to act otherwise, and often hides the anger for doing something you hate. An emotion, which implies more energy to discharge and therefore ends up generating a stronger slap.

A slap is sad, a pinch is also sad

Sad because they can cause pain, sad because they can cause fear, sad because they can cause tears. Sad because they can do all three things at the same time, without teaching anything. This  punishment , like all punishments, focuses attention on something negative, which would not be necessary. A pinch doesn’t talk about alternative behaviors. You may be telling your child not to hit his classmates, but if he feels he needs to react to something in the face of a denial, that’s what he’ll do.

Another popular comment is “I got it as a kid and grew up really well” . Luckily, we sometimes do well “in spite of”, not “thanks to”. Probably someone taught you what you should focus on to do things right, and not to use violence as your negotiating weapon.

Think that this is the question, not the other. Fortunately, it is very strange that someone is traumatized due to a slap or a pinch, but what I mean is that it is possible to educate without using them, you can educate better without it. And yes, it takes more effort, more patience, more reflection and time shared with children. Quality time, not what’s left over after coming home from work, cleaning the house, ironing clothes, cooking food, and organizing the groceries.

You have to pay attention to what children do. We can’t see them just like flies that won’t let us watch TV or get some rest after a tiring day.

If we dedicate ourselves to them, the slaps and pinches will disappear, because they simply won’t be missed. We don’t need a drastic measure to fix a tree that has become too twisted, we can manage to resolve it with care.

This doesn’t hurt anyone. And think, is there anything prettier? In addition, children also have their important matters…