Suffering In Silence: Such A Custom

We suffer in silence, we hide in the convolutions of our private shells to suffer in solitude, in silence, without anyone noticing. We look resigned and pretend that nothing happens while our internal battles are fought relentlessly. .. Until it happens, until one day, without any warning, we fall apart.

We are social beings, yet we choose to suffer in solitude. We prefer to share the laughs, the good times and we cling to the routines of everyday life with those around us, because that way we can feel a sense of control. As if nothing was happening, as if nothing was devouring our emotional insides.

Psychologists and psychiatrists are well aware that trauma and silence often go hand in hand. It is not easy to say what hurts us, and this is so for two very specific reasons: the fear of being judged and, above all, of showing our vulnerability. Because in this unforgiving world, strong personalities triumph, people who do not complain and demonstrate efficiency, optimism and personal security.

All of this leads us to believe that, currently, suffering is still a stigma. Something that shows us once again why there are so many people with depression who remain untreated and why suicides among young people are reaching alarming proportions.

Let’s think about it.

Reasons why we shouldn’t suffer in silence

Recently, a well-known newspaper published the personal letter of a woman who declared that she couldn’t take her life any longer. She had been a mother for the third time and felt unable to get out of bed. Interestingly, nearly 80% of the comments were derogatory, bordering on cruelty.

Postpartum depression or that very difficult phase that is the postpartum period remains until today as a taboo. If a woman experiences this mood disorder, she is punished immediately, because what is expected of her is that she is always 100% happy and willing. Therefore, many mothers live this episode from the inside, privately and fearing society’s criticism.

The same happens with teenagers, boys and girls who are bullied, but remain silent, without asking for help, trapped in their cage of solitude and privacy of their rooms, the only place where they feel safe. It is necessary and almost imperative to react before it is too late, before the will weakens and our reality is little more than a meaningless scribble.

6 reasons why we should stop suffering in silence

• The first reason to stop suffering in silence is as simple as it is obvious: the suffering goes on.  Not taking the first step to ask for help will intensify the pain even more. It will be like a long, suffocating shadow that swallows everything around it.
• Symptoms will become more resistant, we will stop being people and become reflexes of pain, with more complex and much deeper symptoms.
• Negative thoughts will intensify. We will be trapped in our own prison.
• There will come a time when we will reject even social contacts. Hugs, emotional caresses and kind words will lose their original meaning for us: we  will view them with suspicion and interpret them as threats.

• When we postpone the need to ask for help, further treatment will be much more complex.
• We perpetuate the stigma ourselves. Not taking the first step, refusing to seek professional help or telling someone you trust about what happens to you, further fuels the idea that trauma and suffering go hand in hand with silence.
• Last but not least, we must keep in mind that suffering changes us, shapes us according to its  will  and transforms us into someone else. We fail to be true to ourselves, and that’s something no one deserves.

connect to heal

Suffering isolates, but the connection with our fellow men and with ourselves is therapeutic and heals us. When we share our vulnerabilities and pain with the right person or a qualified professional, we have two advances. The first: we stopped self-sabotage. No one chooses to suffer postpartum depression. No one deserves to be bullied, a slave to a traumatic past or a lost childhood. No one should neglect himself to the point of ceasing to love himself.

The second is that we will achieve a suitable emotional catharsis. Many people come to psychotherapy dressed in the armor of anger, hiding the fragile being that lives inside them. Reconciliation and proper connection with your environment will gradually let go of the chains of suffering.

No doubt it’s a slow and laborious process, but it’s something we all deserve: stop suffering in silence and have someone who understands and helps us. Reflect on this, come out of your shell of loneliness and allow yourself to be yourself without fear.