The Ego Traps That Impede Our Personal Growth
The ego’s traps prevent our happiness because this essence of our being is never satisfied, it anesthetizes us with its demands, its fears and its tricks, it leads us to an insane attachment, even putting us in an eternal comfort zone where nothing happens. We must be able to manage the ego to further our freedom.
When dealing with this psychological dimension, we often get lost in its definitions. Sigmund Freud defined the ego as the entity obliged to negotiate almost daily with social impulses and patterns. It is also the structure that can be rationalized and balanced through personal work.
However, if we focus on oriental views, or defined by spirituality, as enunciated by Eckhart Tolle, things change slightly. In the latter case, the ego is a kind of insane self-awareness and magnetized by selfishness. It is the inner strength that we must know how to control, educate and direct.
In this way, in any case, both from the Freudian point of view and from the one defended by Eastern philosophies, there is a common axis on which we can base ourselves. It is the one who speaks of the need to educate them, to modify their stimuli, and remove this unhealthy layer to make it something more in tune with personal growth.
Knowing the ego’s traps is, without a doubt, fundamental to being aware of many of its dynamics. Let’s see them next.
the traps of the ego
The secret of well-being, that which provides the individual with fulfillment and a true sense of happiness, is in balance. Therefore, there are those who venture to say that, to achieve this, there is nothing better than putting the ego on a “diet”.
We should do with it the same thing we do with our food. We often fall into insane diets ourselves, in which saturated fats end up inflaming and inflating us. So, instead of being satisfied, we feel much more anxiety and hunger.
The same thing happens with the ego. The eagerness to receive praise, recognition, approval, or power feeds a false self-esteem that is always hungry. We must have muscles, we must exercise our psychological capacities through humility, determination and flexibility. Therefore, it is essential to identify those ego traps that are so recurrent in many of us.
1. I always want to be right
There are people like that. It doesn’t matter to them that the evidence is as solid as a ten-story building. There are those who, in any circumstance, moment or condition, always wish to have the truth on their side. In this way, they do not hesitate to develop the most varied (and harmful) tricks.
The ego is too heavy in these circumstances and doesn’t help anyone. It is a tremendous trap that we must recognize and limit.
2. Why don’t others act as I wish and expect?
In a way, we’ve all experienced this same feeling: that of despairing when we see that the people we care about don’t or don’t behave as we expect. This fact, that of wanting those in our closest circle to always act as we wish, is nothing more than an ego trap. It is also a source of suffering.
The ideal in these cases is not to condition ourselves, only to limit ourselves to being and not being. Respecting and even valuing that others act in accordance with their principles and desires is an act of respect and also of personal growth.
3. The constant feeling of lack
If I had a bigger house, I would be happier. If I could save a little more, I could buy a cell phone that just came out on that particular brand’s market. If I had a loving partner who would carry me in his arms, life would be perfect…
If we look closely, the feeling is stamped in a large part of our society. We never feel complete or satisfied. There is always something missing, we always want that detail that if we managed to have it, it would provide endless happiness.
However, when we reach that goal, the satisfaction goes away and we place our hopes in something else, another dimension, in another person.
4. The need for approval
We all need to feel accepted. In the end, we go through social scenarios where coexistence is always more fluid and meaningful if there is acceptance between us. Well, as we indicated at the beginning, the secret is in balance.
Feeling accepted is good, but obsessing about having the approval of others is unhealthy and puts limitations on our freedom and personal fulfillment.
In some cases, the ego and its need for recognition must go on a diet, must get thin enough to be able to make decisions without having to ask anyone’s permission.
5. I feel inferior (or superior) to others
The pitfalls of the ego are not drawn solely through abuse, the selfishness of someone who wants more, who thinks himself better than anyone else, or who needs something more than anyone else. These problems of our personal development are also materialized by feelings of lack.
Feeling diminished in front of others, realizing that all the effort is in vain when the rest of us surpass us in almost everything, also leads to suffering. Because anorexic egos also sicken the mind, limit us and turn us into confused shadows.
In this way, it never hurts to remember that personal integrity requires an ego capable of protecting itself, but without going into excess. It needs a meditated, strong self-esteem that knows how to validate itself and, at the same time, exercise respect for others.
To conclude, ego traps are traps in which we often leave large fragments of dignity and self-esteem. It’s that little man who lives inside us and who likes to poison us with false needs, with the constant noise of wanting this, lacking that, I can’t stand it, hate it, etc.
Let us learn, therefore, to silence this uncomfortable voice. Let us manage, daily, to identify their tricks a little better so that we can readjust their dynamics and put them in our favour. The ego must never be an obstacle, it must be a humble, wise and prudent ally that helps us to grow a little more each day.
